OutSpoken -Uncomfortable Conversations: Grief

OUTSpoken is proud to present the next in a series of very important discussions. Uncomfortable Conversations: Grief It is inevitable, at some point everyone will experience grief. It is a guarantee of our humanity. Culturally, we are left to navigate it on our own, we don’t talk about it, we are uncomfortable with it. we simply wish it would leave. Why? How do we learn to cope? What can grief teach us? How can we help each other? Join us as we delve into this very uncomfortable conversation. Grief,

Special Guest to talk with us about the topic of Grief:

DAMON L. JACOBS

He is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has helped people find and maintain satisfying and joyful relationships with lovers, family members, and friends, for the past 18 years.  Together, we will create the relationship “structure” and agreements that are uniquely right for you.

His approach to happiness and serenity is derived from tenets of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Social Justice Theory, and A Course In Miracles.  The unique fusion of these models has enabled hundreds of my clients to create an enlightened balance of mind, heart, and action, as well as relationships that enable presence, peace, and pleasure.

RANDY WATTS AUTHOR OF “FILLING EMPTY“

His  book, Filling Empty, was released October 2016. “It is the book I wish I would have had when my wife passed away six years ago from Leukemia. I wrote it with the intention of helping anyone who is suffering from the pangs of grief due to the loss of a partner, or any loved one. I have attached a general synopsis of the book, as well as a chapter-by-chapter breakdown”.

“I know that there are a great number of people who are grieving, and many of them have no idea of where to turn, and to whom they can reach out to. I have made it my mission to reassure them of these three things: They are not alone, They will be happy again and Their loved ones still linger very near”.

 

Synopsis of  “Filling Empty“

Each year approximately 56 million people die, leaving loved ones behind to grieve their loss. So many of these grievers don’t know where to turn to seek the relief, for which they so long. They can be happy again, but they must first learn how to fill their empty hearts.

Having lost my beloved wife at the end of 2010, I understand the pain that’s experienced when a spouse or partner gets carried away by death. Filling Empty is the book I wish I would have had when the grief became practically unbearable.

Stricken with an acute form of Leukemia, Malinda became very ill. I never really believed that she’d die; she was too healthy, and we were way too much in love for her to go anywhere. I moved into the hospital with her so that I could be her support until she recovered and we would finally be able to go home. I even kept a journal, and called it “The Leukemia Chronicles.” My plan was to transform my day-to-day writings into a book and present it to her when she was finally cured of her cancer. I wanted her to know just what occurred while she was in the hospital—often semi-conscious or heavily sedated.

It was about five months from the time that she was initially diagnosed that I began to wonder if she might not overthrow the cancerous curse that plagued her. I began to wonder what I’d do if she really did go away. What path does a man take when his better half is taken from him? I knew that if she died I’d be devastated, but I had no idea of the degree of pain I would soon be experiencing.

Throughout Malinda’s hospital stay, I often told her that if I could, I’d take the pain away from her. It was on December 16^th, 2010 that she lost the battle, and I had to keep my promise; it was time for me to take the pain. I hurt so badly. I knew that suicide was not the answer, yet it beckoned me daily. I desperately searched my universe for comfort in any other form—anything that would help me breathe again.

After a great deal of pain, suffering and soul searching, I began to discover how to avoid some of the “land mines” that would suddenly bombard my brain each time I felt like I might be able to go on. I was able to learn how to cope, and eventually I knew that I could go on surviving.  I also knew that it was my responsibility to help others who were passing through the same type of agony.

What I went through doesn’t make me an expert on dealing with grief—it makes me a survivor with a story to tell. A story, in fact, that will be of great help to those who find themselves mourning the loss of a spouse, partner or of anyone they loved.

Filling Empty is a book of hope. It explains how to fill a heart once it’s been emptied. It’s the book that I wish I’d had when Malinda transitioned from body to spirit. It’s a compilation of experiences that I passed through, as well as those of others who have endured the same type of loss. It is also a reminder that our loved ones are still nearby, and how we can recognize and enhance our awareness of their spiritual presence.

In short, this book is about how to fill an empty heart.

Filling Empty is designed to help the reader realize that:

• They are not alone—many are passing through the same type of pain
• Their loved ones have not gone far—their spirits linger nearby
• There really is happiness after loss—the light at the end of the tunnel that seems so absent, will eventually be visible

People won’t stop hurting after reading Filling Empty, but they will know that they are not the only ones passing through the torment that comes with loss. They will realize that if this author was able to withstand the pain and regain happiness, so they will be, also.